To change anything one needs time, and to exist: space.

I was thinking about the complexity of the human brain when I thought this to myself.  I was thinking that part of what makes the human brain so complex is that it is so malleable. While we are alive it is ever changing and those changes manifest themselves in our behavior. As they are tied only to time, the number of changes our brain can make is limited only by time. Some things though, like memory, require space to exist and by this we are limited ever more greatly than we are by time.

It seems to me the bottleneck of the individual human experience would be easily dealt with if it were space, how cruel it is that it will be instead be time that ceases it. The jury is still out on which will be to blame for humanity as a whole.

In reference to the above quote also, I was thinking this:

How easy it is to accept the latter, and how difficult the former. Seems patience is unlikely to be a virtue, though accepting it as necessary perhaps is. For we do not wait for things to exist only for them to come into existence. That is, only for change do we wait.

The other morning I awoke to a flurry of thoughts which ended on this:

We should all at least seek to see other people through that haze of confusion where we reconcile the disparity between our dreams and our lives.

I had been dreaming and when I awoke and opened my eyes, my confusion at the change in my apparent state of existence was so strong that I noticed it enough to reflect on it. I was striving, urgently, desperately, to understand what was happening, and not until I let go of trying to view my situation objectively, as though I had actually been transformed and transported from one reality to another, but tried to understand it subjectively as a person experiencing this change of state which my brain wished to refute did everything come back into focus. I had to accept that one reality was falsely perceived and accept this new reality as truth.

Only later when I was looking out the window, morning coffee in hand, did I realize that while in this mindset I had to will myself into subjective experience and I thought that if I could will myself into the subjective experience of others then I could truly understand them.

The aphorism is also made stronger for me in that this haze of confusion between dream state and waking state is not wholly dissimilar to the haze of confusion I feel when trying to figure out the course to attaining dreams, as in wishes, and simultaneously taking full credit for my failure to have already attained them or for having not dreamt of them yet.

Tonight I was thinking:

Of all the ideas we lay our critical eye upon, it should fall most critically and most harshly on those we hold closest to ourselves. And not at all on those which we do not yet understand.

The same is as true of people as it is of ideas, and especially of friends. For should we not keep closest those who accept us as we are where they do not understand us yet have the will to make us our best where they do? Friendship seems to me a great and wonderful paradox.

The first part occurred to me when assessing for the first time some things I have held to be true and thinking that this internal criticism is vastly important for my personal growth. The second came in response when thinking about those whose criticism of me is most needed and most easily accepted.


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