Moon Janitor

I’m just saying, someday there’s gonna be a base. There’s. Gonna. Be. A base. And its probably going to be in our lifetime. There’s gonna be a base and its probably gonna be in our lifetime. In our lifetime there’s gonna be a base on the moon. A fucking moon base.

And I’m telling you all right now, I’m gonna live on the moon base. I’ll do whatever it takes. Even if I have to be the janitor. I’ll be a fucking moon janitor. You bet your ass.

When you live on the moon everything is intense. A toilet clog and the whole system has to shutdown, everyone would be rushing everywhere trying to figure out how to survive. And there I’d be, with my moon plunger, ready to save the day. Being a moon janitor would be so fucking sweet.

And think about the girls. Earth girls, moon girls are fine too but they’re not impressed with the moon factor. Earth girls are where its at. Earth girls are easy. As a moon janitor you could steal an earth girl from any earth dude. An earth investment banker has nothing on the moon janitor.

The only guy on earth that has a chance of beating the moon janitor is that crazy Russian dude who rides and jumps lions for the circus. I mean, he’s a fucking lion rider. I could talk about space until I was hoarse, and all he has to do is ride up on that lion and with a roar it’d be over. I’d be standing there as they rode off toward a ravine or a cliff or something and then just when she got scared he’d lean back and whisper just loud enough to hear over the wind rushing past them, “hold on” and then he’d jump the fucking lion over the ravine and her hair would come loose and blow back in the wind and the sun would hit them just right, it would be so beautiful. And I would just be stuck standing there trying to figure out how to convince the moon president to let me bring back a lion.

If the moon janitor and the lion rider teamed up they’d be unstoppable.

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